Minds & Methods

I keep seeing parents proudly call their kids "so resilient" when they bounce back quickly from divorce, moves, or other disruptions. But the research suggests we might be mistaking emotional suppression for genuine resilience - and missing kids who desperately need support.

The "resilient" label can be so dangerous - Masten's research shows that kids who appear to bounce back quickly often develop what looks like competence on the surface while suppressing their actual emotional needs. We celebrate the quiet adaptation and miss the internal cost of that premature self-reliance.